When the Smurfs were invaded by Ads (Movie Reviews)
Current mood:
mellow
....................
mellow
When the Smurfs were invaded by Ads....
(Review of Avatar
and Angels & Demons)
Avatar
was not a movie I expected to see since I was looking forward to seeing the
Chipmunks movie if any during December.
A majority of the time I am correct when I don’t look forward to seeing
a movie because the trailers show signs of disappointment. I’ll give a quick list of few signs from that
one should watch for when watching trailers:
1. The trailer somehow finds a way not to explain the
storyline.
2. When the animated figures are never in the screenshot
with the actual actors of the film.
-In the When the Earth Stood Still the commercial kept on yelling at that
stupid giant to freeze but for some reason they were never in the same
shot. That’s because the stupid giant Cyclops
thingy was too smooth and shiny to ever look it belonged with everyone else in
that craptacular film.
3. It’s a children
movie with too many innuendos.
-Cat in the Hat; geez. I didn’t think you could ever destroy a
childhood gem like Cat in the Hat but Austin Powers found a way when during the
commercial he smacked a garden ho and called it a “dirty ho”. This is not something you want when your goal
for going to the movies is avoid the repetitive nature and easy sexy jokes
4. When the sequel trailer has no one in it from the first
movie.
-George
of the Jungle wasn’t that great of a movie but it was entertaining and
Brendan Frasier himself was genuinely funny guy. Than when George
of the Jungle 2 commercial started appearing audience had to be taken back
when guy who was repeated referred as George looked nothing like Frasier. This almost could’ve been tricky enough to
make some think it’s a plot of a George copy-cat but not really.
Avatar
definitely had the second one and small bits it would should something that
needs to be done via computer with a real actor the people look like they are
from Starcraft or something. The thing
about Avatar is I couldn’t tell if it was because I was watching the film in 3-D
or the graphics aligned with what was actually filmed. It’s an important factor for me since I’d
always much rather film a kick apple robot.
I will admit Avatar had too many villagers in the script to do such a thing
but doesn’t mean I should give them slack for their animation. If one doesn’t have the technology to do it
than don’t do it I exclaim especially since the 3-D glasses now cost an extra
$3 extra to watch it. To finish off this spiel, Avatar’s graphics were smooth
except for the giant robots where the people controlled them by sitting
inside. That was surprising for James
Cameron to make look goofy since his Aliens 2 hand the same thing when
Sigourney Weaver went one on one with the mother Alien.
In this
review there will be a lot of nit-picking at this movie but be sure to look at
the rating at the end because it is still unquestionably worth seeing before
DVD. These new 3-D effects were cool and
not the hoky ones that would be used in 80s movies, where something had to be
thrown at the audience for them to notice what they are watching in 3-D. It was simple but noticeable. A few times during the film I took the
glasses off to see the difference and everything looked fine if it was in front
but if an object was in the distance it would be a little blurry.
The
acting was very good with Sam Worthington leading the way with Sigourney Weaver
taking the assist. Sam Worthington had
to portray of an injured veteran on a journey back to revival from leg
paralysis. Hmm. The guy is a very good knuckle head which the
audience wants gain happiness no matter how many people tell him he’s screwed
up. Sigourney is a translator of sorts,
who is passionate of what she fights for though every time she tries convincing
anybody anything she’s always portrayed by others as the crazy tree hugger. Sounds a little like her Aliens role. The third top
actor is the one you see in the trailers shooting and yelling to destroy
everything kind of giving away how well the diplomatic solution went. This is a very black and white character but
he’s not all wrong. General Nutso is
shown as the bad guy because he wants to use the army to invade the Smurfs
(blue people). Well, hello he is a
general what else can he really suggest?
Team diplomat was more worried about their journey than their actual goal. General Nutso may have laid created the same
results no matter what but it doesn’t less procrastination would’ve helped save
some lives.
Who can
blame Team Diplomat for wanting to spend their time just observing the
awesomeness and fantasy of the Smurf world?
Majority of Avatar aimed at becoming an official warrior in the Smurf
tribe. Cameron created a world one could
easily fall for in those nerdy Warcraft video games from the animals the Smurf
get to ride to the being 10 feet tall and having a tail. Really, who doesn’t want a freaking tail and
be blue? Well, not Smurf blue but more
Nightcrawler blue.
The
feature is a little less than 3 hours and you feel it. The best way to measure this is if you stop
and check you cell phone during the phone.
I did and I could imagine that is the point of the movie Tara began her
nap! Since a lot of the movie spent time
on Sam Worthington’s character observing the Smurf’s culture and not trying to
complete anything that made a difference to the humans it wasn’t really plot
driven.
Another quick thing to pick at that
I thought was awkward and didn’t make a darn thing of difference was the black
doctor until the very end. The reason he
bugged me was the fact he walked in on Worthington’s character, Jake, telling
General Nutso and friends how to invade the Smurfs to where he gave a shocked
face of disappointment. That facial
expression gave the impression that there will actually be something
interesting to happen in the human side of the movie like a confrontation. No, not really and it could’ve balance out
the awkwardness at the end of the movie when Team Diplomat and Team Kick-apples
had about three verbal arguments that went nowhere.
Smurfs had an appearance I swear
had to make 3/4 of the audience jealous besides the weird tentacles in their
hair but even I wouldn’t let that ruin being 10 feet tall and blue. Color and height is not the only thing a
majority of American audience will be jealous.
The shape every single Smurf was in was just silly how each and every
one of them didn’t have an ounce of fat.
It reminded me of pro wrestlers in video games and on action figures of
how they are always given six packs no matter their abdomens look in real life. Giving even a few elders a more realistic
appearance compared to us would make people walk out of the theater going,
“What a disgusting figure those aliens had!”
If I was Cameron though, I would
probably make the decision of all pretty rather than all ugly.
The story won’t drive you into
watching but everything else will. My
friend Lucas pointed out that the storyline of people with technology attacking
“savages” is actually derived from Dances
of the Wolves. His comparison
reminded me of several of paranoid goals I thought this movie since seeing the
trailers. Hollywood is so hippy that I
couldn’t figure what message it was trying to send to audience. Was Avatar trying to say shame on America for
taking the Native Americans home or did it have an anti-corporation or general
anti-Army? It could’ve just been a good
storyline in general but you have to watch out for those shifty eyed
celebrities.
In conclusion this movie receives 4
& a quarter out 5 stars. Even though
it may have been very long it fit because of the epicness of the world that had
to be introduced to the audience. There
are many things for audience to find to enjoy in this film from cool battle to
new creatures of beyond to technology to Michele Rodrigez, everyone’s favorite
spunky latina.
PS for Avatar I heard a pretty
funny spoof advertisement for Avatar on the radio when I was in Cold Sprink for
Jake’s Hockey tournament, where they got 3rd Go Johnson!
Well, in the advertisement the soldier on planet Smurf were getting a
warning from their captain about a Smurf spy within their forces. When the soldiers hear of this infiltration,
the soldiers try to figure what kind of disguises the Smurfs would use and
suggestions came as using a funny hat, handle bar mustaches or sunglasses. Dumbfounded the general goes, “I suppose but
they are 10 feet tall, blue and they have tails. It should be pretty obvious” place.
Then a soldier double checks, “but
they still can be wearing some sort of disguise”
“Well sure they can but it would be
quite obvious”, argued the General.
The soldier finished the
conversation with saying, “Good, everyone look for some fake mustaches.” I
thought it was funny advertisement to recite.
Angels
and Demons review
One warning, I should give about
any book that turns into a movie is 99% of the time readers say the story is
always better on paper than on the big screen.
Usually the best order to go is watch the movie than read the book. The only problem with this is order is there
are fewer complaints but when reading the book you lose your creativity of
imagining what characters look like in the book.
Angels and Demons was mystery
thriller that made sure there was no way audience can piece together the pieces
to the large mystery. It was kind of an
interesting ride if you are a tourist expert.
Many of the parts of the puzzle that Tom Hanks character was trying to
figure out is gibberish to the audience.
The characters sound brilliantly smart when they are discussing how to
stop the terrorist attack but who cares if the audience can’t follow what they
are talking about. These smart discussions
made audience blank out for a good quarter of the movie. If script writers were going to change the
story from the book they could’ve at least slow down the characters so they
give the audience some trivia to walk away with about the Catholic religion or
Rome.
There is one thing this movie made
sure force audience to walk away with is that the Catholic religion as an
organization tortured people something hundreds year ago for not believing in
the same religion. People who are big Angels and Demon fans exclaim how people
can be mad about what movie claims about Catholics, if it’s a fiction. If I wrote a fictional book where, Obama is
terrorist I would receive so much gruff for the portrayal of Obama even though
my book would be fake. Don’t act so
uppity if you can’t take it both ways.
Angels
and Demons made it likely for audience to figure out who the real bad guy
is when Ewan McGregor’s priest character several time bragged about how ashamed
Catholics should be for being torturers.
Why no matter how much proof that the church has done these torturing
would a priest who has the power of the pope almost brag about how bad your own
religion is? Ewan McGregor did a good
job playing the proud priest throughout all the troubles they were going
through.
The cuts that did in fact bother me
were to the character of Vittoria. Was
she only in this movie to look pretty? She was completely pointless in this movie
while Tom Hanks walked around talking smart but the book gave her a character
with more content. The not telling her
background story saved about 200 pages from the movie and film. One thing director Ron Howard did do correct
with this film from the book is the way Vittoria and Langdon just didn’t take a
break from the rush of the situation to have a philosophical conversation for a
freaking lifetime. As interesting those
conversation can be in the back of one’s mind when reading these intriguing
conversation they are freaking out the bomb that explode any time. Hmm, a bomb is going to explode so let’s have
some tea and discussion in the meantime.
Ron Howard took a quicker approach to these stimulating conversations by
making the characters have them while in motion.
I give this half year old movie two
star out of five for dropping the Vittoria character and being outright smug.
Movie
Reference: Collateral
Just thought I’d refer a Michael
Mann movie I’ve gotten into every time I watch it. Michael Mann is a simple director, that straight-out
tells the audience what he wants to tell them instead of giving them abstract
BS. The scenery in LA seems so cool
through the eyes of Collateral. Tom
Cruise does an amazing bad guy that you still can’t dislike. Giving him grey doesn’t make him look older
but more distant. His work with Jamie
Fox seemed to work well with each other.
My favorite line in this movie is when Jamie Fox finds out the Tom
Cruise is an assassin and he goes, “I’ll just leave and you can take the car.”
Where Tom Cruise responds with, “Promise you won’t tell?” Hilarious! I don’t see what’s everyone’s problem with Tom Cruise is. It’s his wife Katie Holmes that needs to fall off a cliff. Actually, Cruises next movie seems pretty funny. Here’s an example:
Tom Cruise takes Cameron Diaz
hostage and exclaims, “Anyone try to stop me, I’ll kill myself and then shoot
her!” Well, here watch it!
Thanks
for reading this. If you want to help me
out answer one of these questions. What
do you think about blue people? Is even
fake blasphemy okay? Would you be will
to push Katie Holmes? What do you watch for in trailers for signs of a crappy movie?
Oh, quick tidbit for when you’re
thirsty, drink a cup of water first so you when get to the pop or fancy drink’s
taste goes to waste.
Topics for future blogs....
*Best music of 09 by genre
*Who is going to win that bowl that is pretty SUPER
*My Golden Globe ballot[views 76]
~Comments~
Silver Angel (Anthony)"this review would've been a lot better without the over excessive steroid filled wrestler with a hand handgun on his shirt......also i feel smurf killing for their smurf berries is morally wrong :P"
No comments:
Post a Comment